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A Relationship Guide for Young Women

By Katie Brown

“How do I get him to not push me to do immoral things?” I speak with a lot of young girls on the subjects of self-respect, chastity, and modesty, and I hear this question far too often. What I have found is that not only are a lot of girls lacking self-respect, but they have lost their own identity as well.

When you are young, being accepted and loved seems like the most important thing in the world. And sometimes young women feel pressured to do whatever it takes to feel that love and acceptance they so desperately desire. I know because I’ve been there.

Oftentimes when you are vying so hard for the love and acceptance of another person, you lose your own identity. I think that is why young women are sometimes so willing to do whatever it takes to get the love of a guy, because they have lost who they are. Or worse, they never really had a sense of self to begin with. It’s when girls are in this state that they can be taken advantage of or are pressured into doing things they know are wrong.

Young women in this phase are often the ones I encounter. What these women haven’t heard or maybe haven’t realized is that they don’t have to do anything. They don’t even have to date. What they need to do is figure out who they are, and what most girls don’t take very well is that the only way to truly find yourself is to do it while you’re single.

Your youth is so important, especially for young women. This is the time to figure out what activities and school subjects you love—the things that can lead you to an incredible career later in life. This is the time to make lifelong friends rooted in your faith, not just on the fact that you are both in English 101. Most importantly, this is the time to get to know Jesus as your friend, and not just someone you hear about on Sundays.

For young women, building a relationship with Jesus is the most important thing. It will be the foundation for the rest of their lives. A relationship with Jesus doesn’t just mean you pray on Sundays. Like any friend, you can go to Him with all your problems, your worries, the exciting things in your life, and when you just need someone to talk to.

I tell young women this is so important because it teaches them how a boyfriend or husband should treat them. Their perfect man will never pressure them to go too far or blow them off for a sports game. He will listen to their problems and help them when things get hard. Most importantly, he will lead them in their faith.

These are all things young women can do only when they have realized their worth and value. No matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done, you must realize that every single woman was and is worth Christ’s love. In fact, He loves us so much that He died for us! That is a powerful and life-changing love—the kind that every young woman deserves to understand.