By Susan Ciancio
September is World Alzheimer’s Month, a time for “people [to] unite from all corners of the world to raise awareness and to challenge the stigma that persists around Alzheimer’s disease and all types of dementia.”
Alzheimer’s and dementia are terrible diseases, and chances are, they have affected either someone you know or someone in your family. Those suffering from it not only lose their memories, but they can become paranoid, angry, combative, and even violent.
This month should cause us to reflect on the dignity of the elderly and those suffering from these types of diseases related to memory. I know it brings back memories for me, as my grandmother and a beloved aunt suffered from Alzheimer’s and dementia, respectively.
When I was in high school, my parents frequently cared for my grandmother in our home. She lived in a different state, and my parents would bring her down for several weeks at a time. I could see firsthand how the disease robbed her of precious memories and even caused her to see things that weren’t there.
But taking good care of her was something we did, not because we had to but because we wanted to. My parents talked openly about her disease, and we all treated her with respect and dignity. Of course it was sad, and of course it was difficult, but even though my grandmother couldn’t always remember us, we knew who she was—and that was a beloved family member who was never a burden and never someone to dismiss or discard.
I saw the same level of care, concern, and love from my uncle when his wife was diagnosed with dementia.
This is the love and compassion we should exhibit to our children so that they grow up seeing the dignity of all people, no matter their stage in life. So as we go through this month, let us take the time to teach our kids the value and dignity of the elderly. When we teach them to live Godly virtues, they will better understand that all life has meaning, no matter the person’s mental or physical condition.
Below are some concrete ways to teach these values.
- Kindness
Teach kindness by living it. Visit an elderly neighbor and keep him or her company. Ask if there are any household chores you can help with. Take your kids with you and allow them to help.
- Compassion
As a family, visit an elderly relative or even someone you don’t know who’s in a nursing home. Many residents of these facilities get very few visitors. This not only leads to loneliness and isolation, but it also leads to cognitive decline.
- Generosity
Give your time to volunteer for organizations that help the elderly. Take your children with you, when appropriate. The elderly love to see kids!
- Gentleness
Teach your children to speak kindly and with patience when talking to an elderly person, especially those who have memory or hearing problems.
- Gratitude
As a family, pray for your elderly family members or friends. Give thanks for their role in your life. Also include prayers for the elderly whom no one prays for.
- Joy
Tell stories that involve elderly family members. Let children see the love and the joy that they brought to the world and to your family. Keep their memories alive.
- Loyalty
Keep elderly family members an integral part of your life. Include them, as much as possible, in regular events such as sports games, dance recitals, family meals, Mass, and so on.
- Obedience
Teach children to listen to and respect their elders. Make conversations with grandparents (and anyone, really) device free. Explain to kids that the person you are with deserves their undivided attention.
- Temperance
This is also known as self-control. Teach your children to think before they speak, even when frustrated or upset. And do the same; make sure that you never speak of the elderly as burdens or annoyances.
- Patience
Older people sometimes walk slower, cannot hear well, cannot see well, and have difficulty understanding. Teach your children to put themselves in the older person’s shoes and to treat them how they want to be treated.
We can learn so much from the elderly in our lives, even those who have lost or are losing their memories. Their lives have value, and when we practice living these and other virtues, our children will become more loving, more patient, and more compassionate.
To learn more about how to teach young children about respect for the elderly, check out our booklet entitled All Shapes and Sizes: Learning about the Beauty and Dignity of People with Disabilities and Other Challenges. For a limited time, it’s on SALE for 2/3 off the original price!