By Susan Ciancio
Fathers matter. Fatherhood matters. And fathers abiding in the faith matter. Strong male leadership within the home makes a huge impact on how children will develop and grow, especially in our faith.
The findings of a Swiss study from the late 1990s highlight the importance of a father’s faith practices. It explains:
If a father does not go to church, no matter how faithful his wife’s devotions, only one child in 50 will become a regular worshipper. If a father does go regularly, regardless of the practice of the mother, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will become churchgoers (regular and irregular). . . . A non-practicing father with a regular [practicing] mother will see two-thirds of his children never darken the church door (emphasis added).
A father’s faith and his practices directly impact his children’s faith. This is crucial for all fathers and future fathers to understand. You make a difference. Your actions help set kids up not just for life but for eternity. As parents, we are charged with helping our children get to heaven, but as can be seen with the findings of the study above, mothers cannot do this alone.
While this study is nearly 30 years old, its findings are not irrelevant or obsolete. In fact, in our growing secular world with more and more fathers failing to lead their families, the numbers are likely even more alarming.
Men need to take loving charge of their families and lead. And to do this, they need good role models, which is why they can always look to the example of the foster father of Jesus.
St. Joseph
St. Joseph has no recorded words in the Bible, yet his actions speak loudly and tell us what kind of husband and father he was. When he found that Mary was pregnant, his first instinct was to leave without shaming her. But an angel appeared to him and said that Mary was carrying the Son of God. Joseph allowed his faith and his trust in God to guide him, and he did as the angel instructed.
Later, when Herod killed all boys under the age of two, Joseph obediently took Mary and Jesus and fled to Egypt to protect them. And then he raised Jesus in the faith, serving as an earthly father, a devoted and loving husband, and a pillar of the community.
We do not know when Joseph died, but we do know that he had an immense impact on Mary, on Jesus, and now on us.
Joseph is the patron of fathers, and we celebrate him throughout the month of March. Faith, obedience to God, devotion to family and marriage, and love for those entrusted to his care. This is the model of fatherhood all men should strive toward.
So when we look inward into our own families—to the husbands we want for our daughters or to the fathers we want for our children or want to be for our children—we need look only as far as St. Joseph as our model.
Following St. Joseph’s example
How can fathers use St. Joseph’s example to build a culture of life in their families and beyond?
Let your family see you living your faith. Make Christ the center of your life. Read the Bible or books about Catholicism. Go to confession regularly. Volunteer at church. Follow the 10 Commandments faithfully. Your actions will give your children the courage to follow your example.
Pray as a family. Lead your family in nightly prayers. At various times during the day, say a quick prayer of thanks for the blessings in your lives. Teach your children new prayers. Say the rosary—or just a decade—as a family. Let your children see that a strong man values his faith.
Treat your wife well. The best gift you can give your children is to love their mother. Speak kindly to her. Do nice things for her. Let your children see that you value her and that you do little things to make her happy.
Teach your children. Joseph taught Jesus the trade of carpentry. We can only imagine that they had hours of conversation during those times. He likely passed along his wisdom, his thoughts, and his dreams. Do the same for your children. Take time to teach them to make something, draw something, fix something, or create something. While you work together, talk about your faith and the importance of family. Encourage them and build them up so that they learn to treat others with respect and compassion.
Protect your family. Joseph guided and protected Mary and Jesus from the dangers of the world. Guide and protect your family from today’s dangers—the culture of death that envelops so much of our society. Help them see the dignity and value in all people so that they learn how to protect others as they grow.
Finally, teach your children about St. Joseph and the importance of fathers. The Culture of Life Studies Program offers a lesson booklet on St. Joseph that will help your elementary-aged students see the beauty and wonder of the Holy Family and the importance of fathers.
As we ponder Joseph’s life this month, let us resolve to always thank God for the gift of his life and examples and for the gifts of our own fathers or for the men who served as father figures in our lives. And let us strive to not only teach our sons to become more like St. Joseph but encourage our daughters to seek a husband who emulates him.