Desperate confession of a 21st century man

Dear __________________,

I am so sorry that I have wronged you. By my selfish actions, you have been denied your human dignity as a woman, reduced to a tool for my enjoyment, and pressured into casting away the motherly role that would have delighted your soul.

It is my most desperate wish that, one day, you realize that not all boys and men are like me.

Some men are not cowards. While I crushed your spirit with my youthful aggression and eventually abandoned you, other men have the courage of faith, valor, and chivalry.

Many men stand quiet and true, assertively flexing their muscular morality in defense of the precious women and families they hold dear. Those men would not have selfishly targeted you for a few moments of sexual enjoyment. They would not have—like I did—trampled on your soul and recklessly ignored your undeniable status as one of God’s children.

You see, our society and lustful young men are telling you a vicious lie when they say that love is merely a physical transaction. You are not a plastic credit card that has the single purpose of being used, over and over again. You are a precious, unique heirloom with infinite value to God’s family, even when chipped and scratched.       

You never depended on me for your dignity, although I told you so. You will never be truly damaged, no matter how much you feel hurt. The black mirror that men like me place in front of you hides the light from your eyes; in truth, your beauty shines every day for all to see.

I told you that you needed to look good for me, to dress for me, to change your personality for me. I told you that all of this was really for your own sake, so you can stand head and shoulders above the masses of other girls who seem prettier, more popular, more desired.

I lied. I made you trade in your unique sparkle for the drab monotony of millions upon millions of women who cast their eyes determinedly downward even as their salvation lies with a single glance to the heavens.

Every female being can be just a female. And that’s all I wanted from you. But a woman, a human being, as you are, can love and be loved. I never told you that.

I never celebrated your precious humanity. So you were, in turn, blind to the humanity of a baby developing in your womb. You only saw an inconvenient product of a transaction that left you empty and scared.

I admit that I never felt more threatened than when when our daughter made herself known to us during her first days of life. If you saw her humanity, her dignity, would you recognize your own?

The light of that innocent child would expose the ugly stain on my soul. So I urged you on as you snuffed out the light on that abortionist’s table.

Did I tell you our baby loved you? Do you know now that our baby, although dead and abandoned, still loves you? It is in her very soul; she cannot help but adore your beauty as her mother.

My shame as a man is overwhelming. I’m so sorry that we live in a world where hundreds of millions of men, just like me, secretly cheer on the “champions of individual freedom” as they rally women to demonize the babies who seem to stand in the way of social and material gain.

It’s true: The blessed role of motherhood—the connection of life and love to our sons and daughters that raises women to sainthood—has always been a source of jealousy for some men who prefer to see women as inferior pawns.

I had my part in undervaluing your life and that of our preborn daughter. By not behaving as a dignified man, I withheld the experience of love that you deserve so much. I took your hand and stood by as you killed our preborn child.

In my own depravity, I have learned the greatest lessons. It is life, you see, that has meaning in this world. It is love that reflects the beauty of each of us in the other.

We can all be forgiven and start on a new path. Start by praying to God. Open yourself to His love. Ask for the intercession of the soul of our dead daughter, who knows innocence and betrayal more than any being except our Lord, Jesus Christ. Jesus and our daughter look down upon you with unconditional love.

Please also pray for me, for my denial of my own humanity and God’s grace is only leading me toward a hopeless and dismal existence. In this society that scorns the divine blessing of life, death seems to cling to us all like a heavy wet fog.

Pray! You and I will one day be whole again.

Your humbled servant, for evermore,


Christopher M. Reilly is director of external relations for American Life League.